


The Tower Gets Even More Ridiculous, Jesus, How Was That Even Possible

by parsnips (trifles)



Series: Tales of Love, Loss, and Insurance [20]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Arguing, Breakfast, Gen, Humor, Insurance, Post-Movie(s), Team as Family, Walking In On Someone, wombats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 02:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3674616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trifles/pseuds/parsnips
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky are going to have a <i>conversation,</i> damn it. About <i>feelings.</i> And this is <i>totally what a conversation looks like.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tower Gets Even More Ridiculous, Jesus, How Was That Even Possible

**Author's Note:**

> This is the world of [insurance-Bucky](http://triflesandparsnips.tumblr.com/tagged/fic:insurance!bucky). These are his stories.

The team tumbles into the common space one morning, generally searching for cereal or coffee or bacon worthy of a king, depending on who’s asking, when they fetch up against Bucky and Steve sitting opposite each other at the kitchen table, staring grimly at one another. They don't even twitch when the others come into the room.

"The three most important principles of insurance are risk pooling, the law of large numbers, and insurable interest," says Bucky, throwing down the words like a challenge.

"There are three species of wombat," Steve responds immediately, only the slight flex of his jaw betraying his tension. " _Vombatus ursinus,_ _Lasiorhinus krefftii,_ and _Lasiorhinus latifrons."_

Bucky's eyes narrow. "A loss is an unintentional decrease in the value of an asset."

Steve almost _growls._ "Though wombats appear benign, they can become aggressive to intruders when defending their home territories. This includes puncture wounds from their claws, deep bites, and charging enemies much larger than themselves."

"What the fuck is this," Clint whispers.

Thor pulls his hair back with a band, looking back and forth between the combatants with a practiced eye. "I think," he says, "that our friends are having a difference of opinion." He tilts his head down toward the others, looking suddenly much more put together than everybody else despite his clearly visible flannel sleep pants. "Will you all join me on my floor? I think I have enough coffee there for even Stark to drink his fill."

Bucky says, "Not every type of pure risk is insurable, but insurance only covers pure risk." There's a pause. "Asshole."

There's something of a rush for the door. The last thing they hear is Steve's raised voice saying, _"Wombat shit comes in cubes--"_ before the elevator, thankfully, shuts.


End file.
